These week 13 NFL picks want to talk about “those people” and their dangerous belief system and customs. Give me more wine. It goes good with this beer. Yes I want a shot. Tequila or whiskey… sure, both!
I am against their clothes and the things they believe in and how they act. Pass the gravy. Look, I don’t know what this country is coming to. Sure, I’ll have a drumstick. I mean, I can’t believe they let those people into America when I am about to do my Week 13 NFL Picks.
I have literally seen people walking around America wearing Pittsburgh Steelers jerseys. How, in the name of George Washington himself, are such people allowed into this country, which once stood for all that was is good and just.
I know one thing for sure. George Washington would have never worn a Pittsburgh Steelers jersey.
And get this, Mason Rudolph, who is not even good enough to stop an actual duck from taking his job, is their spiritual leader. Also, they wave this towel around. That towel is terrible!
They should go back to where they came from, whatever shithole country that is. Shut up, I’m talking! Jesus, am I really related to you?
But bleeding heart liberals like you want us believe that these animals, swigging their Iron City Beer or Yuengling Ale, deserve the same rights as real Americans who drink real beer and root for real football teams, such as the Cleveland Browns.
George Washington rooted for the Cleveland Browns. I know this is true, because I just read that exact sentence on the Internet.
So don’t give me that crap how those people have rights too. Really? Have you seen how these people act if the Steelers ever score a touchdown? It’s, frankly, deplorable. and it shows what a misguided belief system they follow. Yes, I want pie.
Now I am going to go smell up your bathroom. Happy Thanksgiving… if that’s what’s gonna happen.
BEARS AT LIONS – You always see the first half of the Lions game before the food arrives or the tryptophan kicks in. This is, in fact, the Tryptophan Bowl. Bears 6, Lions 3
BILLS AT COWBOYS – Jason Garrett realizes he left his game plan at home and so he calls plays from what he brought – the want ads. When he calls the play, “Dishwasher Needed, fair wages, fun environment,” the Cowboys score a touchdown. Cowboys 24, Bills 13
SAINTS AT FALCONS – The Falcons scare the Saints for all of one quarter. Saints 42, Falcons 17
TITANS AT COLTS – Ryan Tannehill is a good backup quarterback playing beyond his expiration date. Colts 26, Titans 16
JETS AT BENGALS – Andy Dalton wakes up feeling dangerous. Good Jets, bad Jets is a new game in New York. Bengals 23, Jets 13
REDSKINS AT PANTHERS – Dwayne Haskins takes selfies with everyone in the stadium. Panthers 27, Redskins10
49ers AT RAVENS – The greatest player who has ever lived or ever will live now plays for the Ravens. I saw it on TV. 49ers 24, Ravens 22
BUCCANEERS AT JAGUARS – Jameis Winston doesn’t care in the classic gunslinger fashion. Sometimes it works Buccaneers 37, Jaguars 31
BROWNS AT STEELERS – Duck! They are thrown for interceptions and it is yelled as the quarterback is swarmed by an inspired Browns defense. Browns 55, Steelers 6
PACKERS AT GIANTS – The Packers went to the Emergency Room after last week’s game against the 49ers and a team of world class doctors prescribed the New York Giants, since the did not have access to the Miami Dolphins. Packers 30, Giants 16
EAGLES AT DOLPHINS – Carson Wentz misses North Dakota State. But then he sees the Dolphins on the other side! Eagles 20, Dolphins 10
RAMS AT CARDINALS – Jared Goff is like the high school quarterback who peaked in high school. “I once went to a Super Bowl,” he will be saying years from now. Cardinals 20, Rams 17
CHARGERS AT BRONCOS – The Chargers are out of it, so Philip Rivers will be great. Chargers 32, Broncos 12
RAIDERS AT CHIEFS – The Chiefs will look better than they are because…. the Raiders. Chiefs 33, Raiders 17
PATRIOTS AT TEXANS – Deshaun Watson has two key completions to Stephon Gilmore. Tom Brady continues to look like he is throwing to amateur receivers. But Julian Edelman saves the day again. Patriots 17, Texans 13
VIKINGS AT SEAHAWKS – Russell Wilson’s magic show versus Kirk Cousins building an erector set. Seashawks 24, Vikings 20
1 thought on “Week 13 NFL Picks By Your Drunk Uncle On Thanksgiving”
Funny stuff this week. The Bengals finally win. The Jets, Browns, and Panthers blow their games. New England is looking average again after a good start. All the best,……have a great Christmas. Too bad the Browns can’t get it done. Another year shot. They wait around 12 weeks for the Bengals to get their act together and now have to play them twice. The best laid plans..often go astray. Underline LAID as an egg , like the Browns did in the second Pittsburgh game. Love ya,…..Vaughn